This week I was particularly drawn to the paper on housework, mostly because that's like 75% of my life now. So, this stuck very close to home. I have an apartment in Richmond, a rather nice one too, but really I stay with my boyfriend. I haven't stayed once at my apartment since I moved here. Sure, I "visit," I grab some lunch there or watch TV, but I always end up back at his place.
Today is Tuesday. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my days off, but today was anything but. Last night I went to bed at 3:30am. I woke up at 10:00 am, as asked by my boyfriend. I told him to get in the shower and I got everything of mine together to go back home. After his shower I made pancakes for breakfast and we hurried to leave for the car didn't get towed. We went to Walmart. I bought only a few bags full, mostly food because I really will be staying at my place this weekend. Only because he's going home. We drove back and I carried his many, many bags up stairs to his apartment and put the cold stuff away. He said he'd put everything else away, which he did. We drove to my apartment and while he sat in his car I carried my five bags of groceries, large very full basket of laundry, back pack and whatever else I had up my wooden, pretty broken fire escape. I stayed there while he went home to do whatever he does when I'm not there. My bet is he played video games. I unloaded my stuff into my disastrously messy apartment, thinking the whole time that I need to clean. I eventually walked the long 3 1/2 blocks back to his place where I washed dishes (yuck!) and swept the floor with the new broom he bought me. Later I cooked dinner for us. He was nice enough to grudgingly say yes when I asked him to do dishes.
This brings me to my point. In the paper the author mentions something about the fight that ensues when it comes to house hold chores. So, is it easier to bypass the fight and do the work yourself or is the downtime really worth the battle? My answer: don't fight. What do you think?
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Hi, Meg-
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm basically in the exact same situation with the apartment and all that. And I do most of the chores at my boyfriend's apartment too (I've been doing the dishes for him and his roommate as a form of rent-paying for the past 6 months).
This weekend my dad is bringing my grandfather to see my apartment, and I REALLY needed to clean, and my boyfriend knew I wanted him to help out. He started out the day saying that he needed to clean up his own place and that he also had a paper to write. But yeah, he was going to turn on the PS3 and sit on the couch all day. So I calmly told him that he knew that I would like for him to help, and that it would be really nice of him to do that since my cleaning HAD to be done by this weekend. Also, half of the cleaning was doing his laundry.
He can't say no to ultimate reason.
So, I think that this issue isn't one to do battle over, but maybe one that would make for some interesting and probably spirited dinner conversation? If you present the facts, he has no choice but to acknowledge that that's the way things are. If he's a good man, he won't want to take advantage of you like that.
ladies, I lived with the biggest slob in all of Va for just under 5 years. When we first lived at his parents I cleaned his room and his mother did everything else. When he moved in with his first roommate there place was cleaned my me and his crazy roommate when his was in a bi-polar cleaning mood... when we lived together it was much of the same... i knew what i was getting into and i did grow to resent him and eventually hate him for it! I would say try to have that talk as early on as you can before its to late... It is really sad that something like cleaning can ruin a relationship, but it really really can!
ReplyDeletePS. i have only dated guys that are on the naturally cleaner side now :o)